It's been a while . . .

Yea, I am busy! Being a teacher, wife, and grad student is busy! Sooooo, I have slacked on the blog, but also not knowing what to write . . . I guess just stressing! I am thinking a support group is what I need right now! I just took a preggo test and negative. It is a little early, but just thought I would since Scott wasn't home and I could surprise him. . . I know! Oh well, I am fine, just wanting to talk to others going through the same crazy feeling! It does feel good to blog and let it out, it is very freeing! I have been looking up verses to cling to during this time and here are a few. . .

"So I tell you to believe that you have received the things you ask for in prayer, and God will give them to you." ~Mark 11:24

"We set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever." ~2 cor. 4:18

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." ~Romans 5:3-5

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." ~1 Cor. 4:16-17

There are more, but here are just a few and here is a great article for anyone needing some encouragement!

http://www.crosswalk.com/marriage/11608040/

If you could say a prayer that would be great! :-)

I want a baby!

Yea, well I guess it is very clear to the world that, I want a baby! LOL. . . So, I have had a few friends have babies in the past couple of weeks and it is so awesome to see the pictures of their fresh out of the oven baby! While looking at pictures and watching videos, I have a huge smile on my face and tears in my eyes . . . I know, I am a little crazy! I am so happy for my friends and the blessing that God has given them, and one day it will be me with the new baby. These women had their first child, they went in the hospital a married woman and left a momma. That is so amazing!!! I wonder how that feels. . . probably a little surreal along with a little overwhelming! On April 25, 2009 I watched my little sister give birth to her Kaiden. Shannon had asked if I wanted to join her in the room when she gave birth and I jumped up and down and said yes! I wasn't burning with baby fever then, but I believe that is where it all started!

It started on a Friday afternoon that I was looking forward to, because I was planning on taking a little nap and then reading Eclipse. Nope, as I lay my head on the pillow, I got the phone call, KRISTIE COME HOME SHANNON IS IN LABOR!!! I freaked out, called Scott, packed and then we left for a 3 1/2 hour drive. . . I couldn't sleep, so I read (normally makes me sick, but maybe it calmed me). When we got there . . . we WAITED, but then morning came and it was time for Shannon to push! My dad and I were in the room with her and it was amazing for both of us. She was so brave and pushed him out so quickly, and when she saw Kaiden her eyes said it all. . . Love, a mother's love. . . I was jumping up and down and crying. Dad calmed me down, but he was as excited as me. That isn't all the details, but just enough for me to realize how beautiful giving birth is, yes looks painful, but is worth the pain! I could see that expression on my sister's beautiful face. I hope I am as brave as both of my amazing sisters and mom!

So.....I WANT A BABY! lol!!! Who knew!

update-a-rue

So, I still haven't been to the gym . . . YUCK! I am trying to get there and my "start" date is this Wednesday, Sept. 15th. I think I can, I think I can!!! I need some encouragement and someone to kick my butt! LOL!!! With my eating . . . breakfast and lunch are right on track, along with most dinners, but some dinners not so much. SOOOOOOOOO, time to get my dinners back to where they should be, if it wasn't for my skinny husband who can eat whatever! I can't blame him! LOL! Well, kind of! (It is all his fault!) So, say a little prayer for me!

Two week wait is here! LOVELY!!! Waiting on the answer to the test. . . will know sooner than later! I am guessing no, but hoping yes! By the way do you know how many people are pregnant!!! Everyday I get on Facebook to find ANOTHER friend pregnant! REALLY? And I don't like when they say . . . "Oh, it was a surprise, we weren't even trying!" and the only word I can say again is REALLY??? But God is the One in charge and well, I am just waiting for His timing. I am not upset with those people, just a little like, WHAT? and my other favorite REALLY???. What is funny is that I will make this silly, whiny noise when I find out someone is pregnant and Scott says, "Whose pregnant?" LOL! I am thrilled other people are getting pregnant . . . at least someone is getting pregnant! :-) So watch out it might just be you next!

Exhausted!

Yes, exhausted is my word for the week! That is how I have felt for the past ohhhhh. . . 3 weeks. Getting back into the swing of things has been difficult. Paperwork, meetings, lesson plans, emails, and everything that comes with teaching is a lot. Teachers don't leave at 3:30 it is impossible! I am usually out by 5, but lately it has been later than that . . . IF I had a baby I would leave by 4ish, but would love to stay home, that is my DREAM! Well, I don't know if I could make it . . . I love being a teacher and I am not one to stay at home, it makes me crazy over the summer. Soooooo, that is a battle I have with myself every once in a while. I will have to deal with that later and things can change!
Going back to exhausted . . . I was working out in the mornings, but I am so tired and having a difficult time getting up at 4:30. The 4:30 wake up time hasn't happen yet, but am working to it. I am LESS likely to workout in the afternoons, so the mornings are better for me. Even though I am not much of a morning person, I feel better all day after going to the gym. I have got to get up!!! It is my goal to try at least 3 mornings next week. 4:30 is early, but devotion, working out, and getting ready takes a while! I have even typed up a "Morning Schedule", OF COURSE I DID THAT. . . LOL! That is my OCD kicking in . . . :-) Why am I talking about this? I am talking about working out because I need it and love the way I feel after I workout, and because when trying to conceive working out is helpful! Even though I am tired I am soooooo happy! I love what I do and couldn't imagine being anything else, but a teacher! It is funny, crazy, scary, hard work, and VERY rewarding. It doesn't hurt that I work with amazing, fun people!
It is a hodge podge I know, but it is what is on my mind! :-)

Ughhhh!

Having my body back on track is wonderful. . . BUT I wanted to be pregnant! I just told Scott that we can get a home pregnancy test this week, but not now! Well, we saved some money . . .lol! Oh, well! God has a plan!
Sometimes I feel like a child stomping my feet, with a red face, mumbling nonsense! "I want a baby! Everyone else is pregnant! How come! blah, blah, blah".
I have wanted to be a mommy for a long time, but knew it wasn't "time" yet, but now I know that I REALLY want to raise a child with my amazing husband. I do have a super, amazing hubby! He is such a big help when I am crazy busy this time of the year. I couldn't do it without him!
So, as this week passes I am already planning for trying in September. Almost 6 months of trying, but the first 3 months- birth control getting out of system, summer- body messed up, so lost a few months.
Back to the drawing board!
This month using ovulation sticks, working out, taking prenatal vitamins, taking a pilates class (the controlled breathing helps), and looking into acupuncture. The acupuncture is mainly for my shoulder pain, but is also helpful when trying to conceive.
Here we go again!

blood work . . .

Don't you just love getting your blood taken! Ummmm, NO! I have small, rolly veins and it has taken up to 6 sticks before being sent to the hospital to get my blood taken. SO, I am not a big fan and I am a big baby when it comes to needles, but I get it honest . . . thanks MOM! :-) What is funny, is that when my dad "retired" last summer he went to school to become a phlebotomist. The medical field has always been interesting to him, so he went to school and learned how to take blood. He is now working at Christ Medical Center in Augusta, GA where he has his own lab and well it is pretty cool! I am so very proud of him! While visiting the fam in June, my dad showed us the Medical Center and I decided that I wanted to give my dad the difficult task of taking my blood! He is great at everything he does, and he is my daddy so I trust him completely! :) By the way NO one else in my family has let dad take there blood...oops almost forgot, besides my hubby! I sat down and he got my blood on the first stick. . . he is good, I didn't feel it! I was very impressed! My mom on the other hand couldn't even watch . . . she can help people who pass out or have heart attacks, but someone getting their blood taken and she freaks. All that said . . .
I had a blood test done last week. . . fasting blood glucose and insulin ratio, I know a mouth full! It is a blood test my doctor suggested I have . . . having abnormal levels can mess up ovulation. So, this could be a sign of ovulation issues and that worried me. I didn't really think about it this weekend, but decided to call first thing Monday morning and come to find out my insulin levels are a-okay! I don't know about the other, but my hopes are up, because they play hand in hand.

Why?

I have had tons of conversations with "trying" couples and all of them had or are having a difficult time getting pregnant. Why is this not talked about more? It would be nice if all knew it is harder getting pregnant for some people. Some couples get pregnant by just looking at each other and there is a group of triers that have to track, use ovulation kits, prop legs up, take meds., give self shots, etc. :) I am not upset with people who get pregnant easily . . . God's timing is perfect! Just wondering why isn't it me???
Well, an update is needed . . . it has been a month since I posted something...I had to go through a difficult time with God and my husband before sharing it on the blog. I was actually 38 days late! My friend showed up on Monday. I was mistaken before and even went to the doctor after our vacation. I did the pee and blood test. My nurse was amazing and was so excited because at that time I was over 2 wks. late. She was jumping up and down before the test results came back...not good for me. When she walked in the room with the big fat negative, I was alright, but worried about my body! What is going on? I had never been later, EVER! I decided I would wait and after 38 frustrating days I started. Hopefully the lateness was just stress and not the sign of unreliable lady parts. LOL, I said lady parts.
SOOOO here we go! Just keep praying! I have a little group of friends I am praying for. . . maybe I should start a little support prayer/Bible study group! We need to support each other!