curve ball

For the past 4 months we have been dealing with a situation that has us completely relying on God.
It has taken me a while to decide on what to tell and how to say what I want in the best way possible.
So, after a lot of thinking, I decided to give a few details for the purpose of prayer.

Scott and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year in April. We knew that after a year we would go have tests run and visit the doctor. The time came when it was a year and Scott decided to jump first at the doctor visit and tests. He said that he thought something was wrong with him and well I thought he was crazy for saying that!
A week after he had his tests ran, his doctor called to let us know the results, and there were/are some issues. Scott struggled after finding out that he has "problems" and it took a month or so for the findings to totally soak in for the both of us.
We both knew this was not going to be an easy road, but we had answers and there is a way to solve Scott's problem. Thank goodness! Most couples trying to conceive do not receive the good news of there is a problem, but we also have a solution!
As we travel this path, please keep us in your prayers! We want to glorify God through all we do!

I'm Back!!!

Yea, it has been since December! I did not realize how long it had been, but I was finishing up grad school and that took up every free moment I had until the end of March.

No baby, no pregnancy

Sadness :-(

A month ago we found out that one of us has some fertility issues. I am not sure how to share this, but will soon. Please, keep us in your prayers while we face doctors, tests, and questions.

Thank you. . .

Looking back at 2010!

An awesome blogger posted this on her blog so I am doing the same. She stays on top of things and her posts are always wonderful! Thank you for all your inspiration and encouraging words Cintia! Check out her blog! http://www.simplycintia.com/

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before? starting a family and created blogs
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I honestly don't remember my resolution from 2010
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
yes, Louise and Erica!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
no, thank goodness
5. What countries did you visit? none
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? deeper friendships, more exercise, do more with the hubby- more adventure, and A BABY
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
51/2 years of teaching, finding an amazing church
9. What was your biggest failure? not really a failure, but not getting pregnant,yet...
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?No, thank God.
11. What was the best thing you bought? filled stockings for children for Christmas
12. Where did most of your money go? giving, paying off debt, home updates
13. What did you get really excited about? spending time with family, painting my living room, dinning room, and kitchen, spending the day at the spa with my mom, black friday shopping, finding out about friends getting pregnant
14. What song will always remind you of 2010? the only exception ~Paramore
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? thinner or fatter? richer or poorer? Happier, the same, richer in my life-not money
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
exercise
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
stressing over little stuff and worrying about what others think.
18. How did you spend Christmas?With my beautiful, amazing family around the Christmas tree, laughing, eating yummy food . . .
19. What was your favorite TV program? NCIS, Modern Family, Cougar Town, The Defenders
20. What were your favorite books of the year? the Bible-unable to read anything, but a text book!
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Love it all! Had a ball dancing with family at every family event- which included: Justin Beber, Cupid Shuffle, Lady GaGa, and much more. . . the 3 yr. old, 9 yr. olds, and 12yr. old have the control when we dance by the pool. LOL!
22. What were your favorite films of the year? Inception, Eclipse
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? pool party at my parent's house turned 28.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? getting pregnant
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? casual, comfortable, cute, maybe too much black...lol!
26. What kept you sane? my relationship with Christ, Scott, my mom, and at work Lou
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

God is amazing and if he didn't send Jesus to die for me I would be unable to know Him in any way. That I am nothing without Christ! I knew these things, but it changes as my relationship with Christ deepens. That being myself is better than being someone for others. I am more confident in who I am and learning to not be so hard on myself, but to just stand up for myself and be me!

friendship and a new year

Scott and I have lived in North Carolina for 7 years now and have loved every minute! Life has had its ups and downs, but all in all we love it here. When we first moved here we were really close with the college group at the church Scott was serving at. We would have them over at least once a week and I found a best friend that I love! Being away from family wasn't as difficult with my friend. Then Scott started a new church job and we met many couples, but one that we loved so much and could just be our selves with. We were set and felt like we had our close couple and a close girlfriend for me. All of a sudden my friend gets engaged and moves after she gets married. Before she got married our couple friend lets us know that they will be moving to Florida! REALLY!!! So, for a couple years now Scott and I have just been looking for those close friends. The friends that moved are still our friends and they will always be. . . you know those people who you don't talk to for months, but when you talk to them it is like you have talked to them everyday. Love those kind of friends. So, for this new year Scott and I are going to be more intentional about friends and developing lifelong friendships. We have some amazing friends, but we are not being intentional enough! Here comes inviting people over and opening up more. . .
Who else thinks it is difficult to find and develop meaningful friendships as an adult?

Shalom

God has really been working on my heart and my relationship with Him has been changing so much lately. Scott and I have been going to a phenomenal church in Asheville, this has been the first time that we have picked a church and not been picked for a church! God knows where we are and what we need and leading us in this directions has been such a blessing. We have been serving and leading, but I feel like my relationship with Christ has not flourished the way it should. When God led Scott away from being a pastor, many people probably thought . . .what has happened, they are sinning, etc. No, well we are sinners, but God wants something else from us and following Him is our only concern. There are people out there who stay stagnant in one spot because the judgement of others, but listening to God is more important than what others think! That took a while to sink in, but realizing how amazing God is and seeing where we were to where we are now, God has led us and we couldn't be any happier!

In a week, Scott and I will have our 7th anniversary! In 7 years so much has changed in our lives! There was a time of college classes and living on a minimal salary, graduating college, to finding my dream career, living in a small garage apartment (that we loved so much), buying our first house, surgery, death of grandparents, sudden death of Kevin (Scott's 21 yr. old brother), "planting" a church, job changes, interviews, me going through a deep depression, the grieving process, weight loss, weight gain, finding a church, and now trying to start a family!

I am so thankful for God and his guidance and love for me. Mostly I am so grateful for Jesus taking my place on the cross and making it possible for me to have a relationship with God. If it wasn't for Jesus coming to earth and dying on a cross, I would not be God's and would have NO way to have a relationship with Him! God has brought us so far from our sinful nature and every day I battle with myself, but knowing Jesus cleansed this crappy self with His beautiful blood makes me at peace. Peace, wow, I am such a controlling person that it has been a battle giving up control! Letting go and feeling the Shalom that God intends for me to know is my daily battle. Giving Jesus all the glory and praise for being the sacrifice, and knowing what He did to make my awful self beautiful in the sight of God makes me feel His peace. Shalom is my focus this Christmas season! It is not just about the baby, it is about the sacrifice of our Savior!

It's been a while . . .

Yea, I am busy! Being a teacher, wife, and grad student is busy! Sooooo, I have slacked on the blog, but also not knowing what to write . . . I guess just stressing! I am thinking a support group is what I need right now! I just took a preggo test and negative. It is a little early, but just thought I would since Scott wasn't home and I could surprise him. . . I know! Oh well, I am fine, just wanting to talk to others going through the same crazy feeling! It does feel good to blog and let it out, it is very freeing! I have been looking up verses to cling to during this time and here are a few. . .

"So I tell you to believe that you have received the things you ask for in prayer, and God will give them to you." ~Mark 11:24

"We set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever." ~2 cor. 4:18

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." ~Romans 5:3-5

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." ~1 Cor. 4:16-17

There are more, but here are just a few and here is a great article for anyone needing some encouragement!

http://www.crosswalk.com/marriage/11608040/

If you could say a prayer that would be great! :-)

I want a baby!

Yea, well I guess it is very clear to the world that, I want a baby! LOL. . . So, I have had a few friends have babies in the past couple of weeks and it is so awesome to see the pictures of their fresh out of the oven baby! While looking at pictures and watching videos, I have a huge smile on my face and tears in my eyes . . . I know, I am a little crazy! I am so happy for my friends and the blessing that God has given them, and one day it will be me with the new baby. These women had their first child, they went in the hospital a married woman and left a momma. That is so amazing!!! I wonder how that feels. . . probably a little surreal along with a little overwhelming! On April 25, 2009 I watched my little sister give birth to her Kaiden. Shannon had asked if I wanted to join her in the room when she gave birth and I jumped up and down and said yes! I wasn't burning with baby fever then, but I believe that is where it all started!

It started on a Friday afternoon that I was looking forward to, because I was planning on taking a little nap and then reading Eclipse. Nope, as I lay my head on the pillow, I got the phone call, KRISTIE COME HOME SHANNON IS IN LABOR!!! I freaked out, called Scott, packed and then we left for a 3 1/2 hour drive. . . I couldn't sleep, so I read (normally makes me sick, but maybe it calmed me). When we got there . . . we WAITED, but then morning came and it was time for Shannon to push! My dad and I were in the room with her and it was amazing for both of us. She was so brave and pushed him out so quickly, and when she saw Kaiden her eyes said it all. . . Love, a mother's love. . . I was jumping up and down and crying. Dad calmed me down, but he was as excited as me. That isn't all the details, but just enough for me to realize how beautiful giving birth is, yes looks painful, but is worth the pain! I could see that expression on my sister's beautiful face. I hope I am as brave as both of my amazing sisters and mom!

So.....I WANT A BABY! lol!!! Who knew!

update-a-rue

So, I still haven't been to the gym . . . YUCK! I am trying to get there and my "start" date is this Wednesday, Sept. 15th. I think I can, I think I can!!! I need some encouragement and someone to kick my butt! LOL!!! With my eating . . . breakfast and lunch are right on track, along with most dinners, but some dinners not so much. SOOOOOOOOO, time to get my dinners back to where they should be, if it wasn't for my skinny husband who can eat whatever! I can't blame him! LOL! Well, kind of! (It is all his fault!) So, say a little prayer for me!

Two week wait is here! LOVELY!!! Waiting on the answer to the test. . . will know sooner than later! I am guessing no, but hoping yes! By the way do you know how many people are pregnant!!! Everyday I get on Facebook to find ANOTHER friend pregnant! REALLY? And I don't like when they say . . . "Oh, it was a surprise, we weren't even trying!" and the only word I can say again is REALLY??? But God is the One in charge and well, I am just waiting for His timing. I am not upset with those people, just a little like, WHAT? and my other favorite REALLY???. What is funny is that I will make this silly, whiny noise when I find out someone is pregnant and Scott says, "Whose pregnant?" LOL! I am thrilled other people are getting pregnant . . . at least someone is getting pregnant! :-) So watch out it might just be you next!

Exhausted!

Yes, exhausted is my word for the week! That is how I have felt for the past ohhhhh. . . 3 weeks. Getting back into the swing of things has been difficult. Paperwork, meetings, lesson plans, emails, and everything that comes with teaching is a lot. Teachers don't leave at 3:30 it is impossible! I am usually out by 5, but lately it has been later than that . . . IF I had a baby I would leave by 4ish, but would love to stay home, that is my DREAM! Well, I don't know if I could make it . . . I love being a teacher and I am not one to stay at home, it makes me crazy over the summer. Soooooo, that is a battle I have with myself every once in a while. I will have to deal with that later and things can change!
Going back to exhausted . . . I was working out in the mornings, but I am so tired and having a difficult time getting up at 4:30. The 4:30 wake up time hasn't happen yet, but am working to it. I am LESS likely to workout in the afternoons, so the mornings are better for me. Even though I am not much of a morning person, I feel better all day after going to the gym. I have got to get up!!! It is my goal to try at least 3 mornings next week. 4:30 is early, but devotion, working out, and getting ready takes a while! I have even typed up a "Morning Schedule", OF COURSE I DID THAT. . . LOL! That is my OCD kicking in . . . :-) Why am I talking about this? I am talking about working out because I need it and love the way I feel after I workout, and because when trying to conceive working out is helpful! Even though I am tired I am soooooo happy! I love what I do and couldn't imagine being anything else, but a teacher! It is funny, crazy, scary, hard work, and VERY rewarding. It doesn't hurt that I work with amazing, fun people!
It is a hodge podge I know, but it is what is on my mind! :-)

Ughhhh!

Having my body back on track is wonderful. . . BUT I wanted to be pregnant! I just told Scott that we can get a home pregnancy test this week, but not now! Well, we saved some money . . .lol! Oh, well! God has a plan!
Sometimes I feel like a child stomping my feet, with a red face, mumbling nonsense! "I want a baby! Everyone else is pregnant! How come! blah, blah, blah".
I have wanted to be a mommy for a long time, but knew it wasn't "time" yet, but now I know that I REALLY want to raise a child with my amazing husband. I do have a super, amazing hubby! He is such a big help when I am crazy busy this time of the year. I couldn't do it without him!
So, as this week passes I am already planning for trying in September. Almost 6 months of trying, but the first 3 months- birth control getting out of system, summer- body messed up, so lost a few months.
Back to the drawing board!
This month using ovulation sticks, working out, taking prenatal vitamins, taking a pilates class (the controlled breathing helps), and looking into acupuncture. The acupuncture is mainly for my shoulder pain, but is also helpful when trying to conceive.
Here we go again!

blood work . . .

Don't you just love getting your blood taken! Ummmm, NO! I have small, rolly veins and it has taken up to 6 sticks before being sent to the hospital to get my blood taken. SO, I am not a big fan and I am a big baby when it comes to needles, but I get it honest . . . thanks MOM! :-) What is funny, is that when my dad "retired" last summer he went to school to become a phlebotomist. The medical field has always been interesting to him, so he went to school and learned how to take blood. He is now working at Christ Medical Center in Augusta, GA where he has his own lab and well it is pretty cool! I am so very proud of him! While visiting the fam in June, my dad showed us the Medical Center and I decided that I wanted to give my dad the difficult task of taking my blood! He is great at everything he does, and he is my daddy so I trust him completely! :) By the way NO one else in my family has let dad take there blood...oops almost forgot, besides my hubby! I sat down and he got my blood on the first stick. . . he is good, I didn't feel it! I was very impressed! My mom on the other hand couldn't even watch . . . she can help people who pass out or have heart attacks, but someone getting their blood taken and she freaks. All that said . . .
I had a blood test done last week. . . fasting blood glucose and insulin ratio, I know a mouth full! It is a blood test my doctor suggested I have . . . having abnormal levels can mess up ovulation. So, this could be a sign of ovulation issues and that worried me. I didn't really think about it this weekend, but decided to call first thing Monday morning and come to find out my insulin levels are a-okay! I don't know about the other, but my hopes are up, because they play hand in hand.

Why?

I have had tons of conversations with "trying" couples and all of them had or are having a difficult time getting pregnant. Why is this not talked about more? It would be nice if all knew it is harder getting pregnant for some people. Some couples get pregnant by just looking at each other and there is a group of triers that have to track, use ovulation kits, prop legs up, take meds., give self shots, etc. :) I am not upset with people who get pregnant easily . . . God's timing is perfect! Just wondering why isn't it me???
Well, an update is needed . . . it has been a month since I posted something...I had to go through a difficult time with God and my husband before sharing it on the blog. I was actually 38 days late! My friend showed up on Monday. I was mistaken before and even went to the doctor after our vacation. I did the pee and blood test. My nurse was amazing and was so excited because at that time I was over 2 wks. late. She was jumping up and down before the test results came back...not good for me. When she walked in the room with the big fat negative, I was alright, but worried about my body! What is going on? I had never been later, EVER! I decided I would wait and after 38 frustrating days I started. Hopefully the lateness was just stress and not the sign of unreliable lady parts. LOL, I said lady parts.
SOOOO here we go! Just keep praying! I have a little group of friends I am praying for. . . maybe I should start a little support prayer/Bible study group! We need to support each other!

She's here!

So after the two week wait . . . my monthly friend came. SSSSSooooooo, now starting the fifth month of trying. Here we go!

"But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."
~Romans 8:25

Trusting God!

Difficult . . .

I have written several posts lately, but never published them. . . The past couple of weeks have been difficult. I have this blog to help me through this process, but have went into my shell! After several self talks I decided to write this to LET IT OUT! :-) On my birthday my monthly friend was due and well she never showed up. I felt like she was coming because of my cramps, bloating, and nausea. . . but no. She has always shown up on time and when she didn't, I thought. . . I am pregnant! After a week of hpt (home pregnancy test) and nothing but negative, I made an appointment to go see the doctor. They did another test, and NEGATIVE! My doc walked in the room where I waited anxiously for the answer, but was disappointed when I heard the news. I held up well until she started talking more about conception, and the waterworks started! I am such a girl! LOL! After the awful appointment I called my husband who had his hopes up . . . I asked for some time to let it soak in. The morning of the appointment I gave it to God and said if you don't want me to have a baby yet, I understand. . . I really was much better than I thought I would be. So headed to the beach and STILL waiting on my friend to visit . . . almost 2 weeks late. No hpt this week. . . going to my fam doc for a blood test next week. Of course I have googled so much about this problem I am having, but only because I want an answer. I have read soooo many stories about hpt not working and body didn't ovulate so the friend didn't visit, etc. I stopped the google craze and moved to the Bible! Shouldn't go to the world for answers, but God! So, prayers are needed! By the way I will not be telling anyone till I am 10-12 weeks! I will let my family know and can't wait to say, I am pregnant!

My husband . . .

God has truly blessed me with an amazing husband. Eleven years ago this summer Scott and I had our first date and he started the chase! Yea, I was one of those girls that played hard to get. I was 17 and just a girl. Scott and I became friends that summer and spent lots of time together. We were just friends, but he wanted more. He had tried to date me a couple years before that, but I had a boyfriend and didn't know Scott. For my birthday, 11years ago he bought me a pink beeper! LOL! Then I went out of town for a week with my youth group . . . camp at Myrtle Beach! I was a girl and well met a boy (not Scott), but it was just a week! After coming back I remember Scott trying even harder to become the boyfriend in my life, but I wasn't ready yet. After all the late night phone calls, hanging out, laughing, and flirting . . . I agreed to go watch fireworks with him on July 4th, but as friends. So, after Sunday night church we went to Sonic and Scott ordered something to eat, coney dog and large sweet tea. I stood by as he ordered and didn't order anything . . . this was a date and well our first one. I was giving him a chance, but he was sinking fast! He had $5 and bought himself dinner! I was not a happy girl! He did ask me if I was going to get anything and I said no. . . he had asked after eating some of his food. . . fast forward. . . while watching fireworks he tried to put his arms around me and I said, "excuse me . . . I don't want you to do that." When I got home I told my mom that it was not going to work out. . . I was going to just be his friend. After that night I decided to stand strong and let him know what I was looking for in a guy and he realized he had bombed our first date. In August he took me on our first real date to Red Lobster and a movie . . . MUCH BETTER! It was great and I started to really like him even more. Later that week after our first date . . . we had our first kiss in the church parking lot . . . where we said our, I do's and started officially "dating". All that said . . . LOL!

Life has changed so much since that summer 11 years ago! We have grown up so much and become each others everything! God has put us together and I couldn't ask for a better man to be married to. My parents told me what to find and I found it! He treats me like a princess . . . my dad says I am spoiled, but in a good way. Dad told me to find someone who treats me with respect, is kind, works hard in the home and out, mostly a Godly man, good with children, loves me for who I am. . . Scott in a nutshell! Scott and I communicate so well and love just sitting and talking. . . gosh I love him! We laugh A LOT, joke around, and enjoy being together.

I am so glad my mom started praying for my husband when I was a young girl! I will do the same when I have children. Why am I writing this? Scott is amazing! I love who he is and how much he loves God and other people. He is going to be an amazing father and he is very excited about trying to have a baby. Almost everyday he tells me how much he wants a baby and how excited he is that we are starting this process. He is so sweet :-) Our love grows everyday and I couldn't imagine my life without my best friend and love!

Bring Your Own Gown . . .

Okay, so this is just a silly something and nothing of really any importance! Watching the baby story has become one of my normal routines and I enjoy learning about the little families. It is great watching couples become parents for the first time and parents of several children adding another one to the bunch! You learn that labor and pregnancy is very different for each person, it can be easy or horrible, but either way the end result is amazing! My favorite part is watching the mom's and dad's face. . . what a beautiful experience. Getting back to the title. . . Bring your own gown . . . I saw it on the baby story. So, the background is finished! There was this mommy to be who took her own hospital gown to the hospital and it was cute! She had ordered it offline and called the hospital to ask if it was okay to bring her own. I was curious about BYOG (bring your own gown) and decided to do a little research myself. So, here are a couple websites and pictures. What do you think??? Would you BYOG???

http://www.shopbyog.com/shop.html

http://expectingcomfort.com/delivery-gown.html

Really?

While eating lunch today at one of our favorites, El Pobre . . . all we heard was aaaaaaa, whimper, sniff, whimper, sniff, aaaaaaaa, sniff, etc. Oh, yes and all I could do was look at Scott and say, REALLY? We are wanting to have one of THOSE! One of those is I know you have already guessed . . . a baby. While the screaming and crying continued the parents were trying to calm the child down, but baby does what baby wants! SOOOOO, I looked at Scott and he just said (very loudly . . . sometimes he doesn't know how to lower his voice) "CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT AT 3AM?" At first I just said, "SCOTT THAT WAS LOUD . . . SHHHHH!", then just laughed because that is true! We want the good, bad, and ugly of raising a child! Today was a touch of daily life and the battles we will have to face as parents. Parenting has been a topic we talk about almost everyday . . . the important role that parents hold! Gosh, overwhelming! Raising children to some is just getting by . . . making sure they have food, clothes, and a place to live, but to us it is so much more! Raising children to become productive, successful, respectful, trustworthy, Godly (first!), understanding, forgiving, loving, and so much more! Giving the children their foundation of faith and don't get me started about that! On my soap box...so many people expect the church to teach their children about Jesus, the Bible, how to have a relationship w/Christ etc., but NO! that is not the church's job at all! The church didn't have the child and will not be there the child's entire life. Parents be the ones to give teach and guide your children to Christ! OFF THE BOX! LOL! SOOOOOO, all that said . . . excited about one day becoming parents! Not pregnant yet, but praying for God's timing and hand in "it" all! My goal, to be an example of Christ to my children and for them to want to know God more because of my living example every minute of every day!

Being sick and being a mom . . .

I have strep and I'm wondering. . . how in the world do all the moms handle being sick!?! I haven't even had enough strength to sit up until today and that is because the meds I am on, but what if there was a baby in the mix! Wow, I have to say I don't really remember my mom being sick that much, but I know she was at some point. It has to be difficult, but God gives strength to moms when they are sick. My mom is the strongest woman I know and I have learned a lot from her strength and sacrificial heart. She has always put me and my sisters first without a glance back. When I become a mom I want to be like her, especially the way she loved and cared for us even when she was sick, having a bad day, or stressed. I know Scott will be an amazing father when I am sick, because he does so well taking care of me now. He already told me he would whisk the kids away to another place or lock me up in our bedroom. I think that sounds great and I know it won't happen every time, but am glad he already has thought about taking care of me . . . best hubby in the world! I think it is funny how moms will be running around keeping the family going while they are sick, but once anyone is sick in the family the mom drops all she does to care for the sickling. You know they are good mom if they drop all for their child. Forgive this blog . . . I am on some medication and this is the longest I have stayed awake.

God is amazing!

Just thinking on the greatness of God right now! He is bigger than all my troubles and fears . . . surrounds me with his grace and love . . . is my protector and provider . . . etc!!! Scott and I live 3 1/2 hours away from our parents and siblings and it has been difficult. For 6 years now we have lived in the mountains and it is a dream come true. Driving to work everyday is a time to praise God and His creation! From the fallen snow to beautiful fall colored trees it is gorgeous here!
Our family has loved joining us in this journey of becoming pregnant. . . they are praying right along with us for God's timing. Some people blog about loosing weight, raising children, planning a wedding, the adoption process, but I wanted to share this time with my family and friends. It would be difficult to keep my excitement in, because having children is the biggest dream I have ever had! Like I told my mom, "I can't contain how excited I am about this process!" I am thankful for all the prayers and support shown! Thank you! Nothing on here is ever meant to be crude or distasteful, but real and honest! God has opened the door for other "future moms to be" to open up and discuss their aggravation, heartache, etc. when trying to conceive. Hopefully, I am helping or encouraging someone! :-)

wait . . . wait . . . wait!!!

When trying to conceive a child your calender changes and it becomes all about your cycle and ovulation. Timing is everything! Some people have said to try taking and tracking my temp. and I think I will start next month. The ovulation sticks did work, when I was ovulating. The sticks are confusing because the two lines you have to go by are a little difficult to read, but when my LH levels were higher (ovulating) I could tell a huge difference. The most annoying time is after ovulation and the two week wait until pregnancy test/time of the month. With every symptom I am thinking . . . hmmmm... am I preggo. This time I am focusing on just taking care of myself and being less stressed. During the two weeks after ovulation . . . I am looking for signs that the egg has implanted. TMI, but true! I have read so much about the first month of pregnancy and the early signs of pregnancy. but the most wonderful information I have read is how the baby forms within the first few weeks...God is incredible! Sorry . . . I am all over the place! Wishing I was better as this waiting game, but know God is in control!

It was funny, one of my sisters hadn't read my blog yet because her computer is on the fritz, but she read it yesterday and looked at me and said, "You REALLY have baby fever. . . you want a baby." I said yes, hence the name of the blog! :-) She is excited and happy about me one day becoming a mommy. My family is amazing...they bring joy and drama to my life and I love them for who they are! My mom is a strong woman who has dealt with awful people in her life, but has moved forward and given us an example of a mom who sacrifices, loves, and prays for her children. My oldest sister Jamie has three girls and is a mom who loves her children and supports them with everything they do in life. My little sister has a little girl and boy and is the newest mom in our fam. She has fun with her children and gives them all she has . . . it is beautiful to see! I have wonderful mom examples in my life and can't wait to join them in this journey!